Etichete

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your pixies or elves or whoever is under your command never told me that mothers need potty training before attempting to potty train a little one wait, what am I saying, the child herself need a training in being trained how to be potty trained or else how could a mother be able to exorcise the potty training demons so she can address the goddess of potty training without holding any grudges or resentments it’s been months since we started the process and while I think she was ready, I am not sure I was ready for it it happened pretty fast and everything went smoothly until few weeks ago I thought we are even ready to exorcise the pull-ups during night time, when my little angel discovered what a great deal of a reaction she can exhort out of poor me when she does the pee pee dance, then refuses to go potty, then just pee pees wherever the GPS shows her location in time and space at that moment two days ago it happened three times I was so horribly sick dear goddess, how to explain it for you don’t have a clue what being sick means in your fantasized heaven nobody knows any pain but I did and I was in true pain hoping that my little one would have just a nice day being out of this world nice which she is by nature, but her temperament is more toward the volcano type, therefore what I call nice it might not mean what other mothers call nice, for me nice means a good heart and a sweet nature and I believe a sweet nature could indeed pee pee on the coffee table just on the fresh paintings the same sweet natured child painted just minutes before in my astonishment, but then again that might be a multimedia type of art first time it happened in a freshly made bed in the morning while singing five little monkeys with mommy barely opening her chords to sing remember what the doctor said, so why don’t we play something else instead, okay mommy let’s play the doctor game, then boom, pee pee on the pillow, a little creek splurging on the rest of the bed, the child being absolutely mesmerized by this reality game, me the mommy feeling a feeling of not being in a mood to have any feelings at all toward this type of games, the third time it happened while we were making dinner together and suddenly my sweet child crawls under the table and asks me with a heavenly smile what do I like the most and I start with the list I like you the most because this and because that, but to be honest I love you without a reason, I just do then she asked me what else do I like, I said I like people, I like books, I like to travel and I like to dream and I have a dumb smile on my face when she starts drawing on the floor little rivers independently flowing away from now a well known puddle with its own independence truly manifest, mommy, do you like pee pee, what pee pee are we talking about here, any pee pee or yours, she said the baby pee pee and the mommy pee pee and the daddy pee pee, oh I didn’t know there is a pee pee family, I said love why wouldn’t you go to the potty, she said because, I said because is not a real answer, it lets me hanging in there waiting for what never follows, do you have a reason, was that an accident, did you do it on purpose, do you need my help, no just because ok let’s turn the oven off so we won’t set the house on fire now and have the third bath of the day and the third cleaning of the day and I can just lay down and dream your pee pee took my pain away and then I call grandma for help because I don’t find any thought in my brain about any friggin’ attachment parenting credo anymore and I want to talk with the goddess of potty training herself, but I don’t have any training for that, so I call grandma and she reduced the equation to the statement of my sweet child fighting for control, but then I think to myself why fight for it, when the truth is she already has all the control over the entire world, otherwise who else could just pee pee like that on the world’s nose and shoulders and toes without any remorse or triumph, just because, mommy, just because, and then I am my own mother for an evening and catapult myself into thinking thoughts of discipline, which is impossible to think for I don’t have any notion of discipline, only of credos and dreams and of I love you unconditionally even if you drive me banana with your games, but why mommy, let’s drive an artichoke, no an apple, you don’t drive me apple, how do I look, mommy, do I look stupendous, I don’t know the word let me check it up in the dictionary, hum hum har har har sat nam yes you are indeed stupendous my little love, now how do I teach discipline while I don’t give a dime about it, for one cannot believe in something one doesn’t understand, so I chose to think that maybe some adults are still sweet natured kids who pee pee on the fact that pee pee has its own goddess who wants to populate the word with more pee pee starting with my house being assaulted by pee pee aliens boldly let into the house by my human child unaware of the trojan horse legend, and suddenly I am not aware of the pee pee thing story reality game doing art pee pee as not pee pee, but as a non-pee pee entity metamorphosed into a sweet natured pee pee anymore, I only want to talk with the goddess of the potty training just because.