, , , ,

Last day of September. I have to write down this story before I forget the details. We were rushing out the door with luggage, trash bags, toys (S. helping by dragging behind a big empty box of pizza and a baby doll in a basket) – so one gets the picture-, ready for the day, under the consent that we should make it to the car before the rain starts pouring, considering that I forgot the umbrella in the trunk since last winter. Just as I buckled her up in her car seat, somebody dropped a river from above. We started laughing like crazy and she heard me saying “Thank you, God, you’re funny”.

– Who is God, mommy? -Well, I really don’t know for sure, so I’m only telling you what I feel. I think God is love, is what creates life and keeps everything going, it’s like energy. -What is energy, can I touch it? -The same with electricity – remember when we lose power, the television is not working; the car doesn’t start without gas; you cannot run if you don’t feed your tummy with good food to give you stamina.  So it’s the same with God, an invisible force you can feel, but cannot touch or see. Or maybe you can, some people think they can, but I don’t know for sure. –Can I use my spy magnifier to see it? – Good point, wow, I forgot about that! Yes, you can actually see very very small things using special magnifiers. – -Mommy, why is God invisible, does he want to play with me? – Huh…Ummm…baby, do you remember Violet from The Incredibles? Do you remember how shy she was at the beginning when she didn’t know how people would react knowing she has super powers? – I know Violet, I can turn invisible too all by myself! And I can run faster faster like this, like Dash! (she is mimicking) And I can find anything, I am the bestest finder in the whole world I have never meet before and I can find Buddy and ask him to be nice with his friends! – Ha ha, that’s funny! I believe you can do anything you want to do, love. Just like God, he can do anything, but I think he chooses to do only good things, because he is love and love doesn’t hurt…What do you think, was Buddy a good friend for the Incredibles? – No, Buddy was a mean old guy who was a baby first and Mr. Incredible told him stay here and wait for your mommy. Then Buddy got upset with Mr. Incredible! – Why do you think Buddy was upset with Mr. Incredible? – Because Buddy didn’t grow up humongous and Mr. Incredible went to save the kitty cat and Buddy wasn’t tall like Mr. Incredible to climb the tree. – Wow, that’s interesting. But do you think Mr. Incredible and Buddy were friends? Do you think they loved each other? – No, no, Buddy was grouchy! He looks like this! (I can only hear her roaring) But I can climb that tree and save the kitty cat too, like Mr. Incredible! – Ooookay, but that’s exactly what Buddy wanted also, he wanted to help Mr. Incredible, to be his helper, like the elves…So, what would you say if Mr. Incredible would have told you no, you cannot help him save the cat or fight the bad guys?….(not a word from S., but I can feel electricity between us, we are so passionate about our conversation)…Ok, you can think about that one and we can talk about it some other time if you want. – But I do want to save the kitty cat, mooooommy!! – I know you do, love, and you’re already my hero for feeling that way. That’s love. I know you love kitty cats. But the thing is you have little girl super powers for now, so if I let you climb a big tree to save a cat, that wouldn’t be love. Because I love you, I am doing my best to protect you from dangerous situations. It was the same with Mr. Incredible and Buddy. – But mommy, I don’t love Buddy!! –Well, that’s ok, you can love whomever you want. I don’t think I like him either. To like somebody and to love somebody are not exactely the same thing though… I do believe in love, I mean is just not fun not to have love in our lives. But this is what I believe! You are free to believe what you feel and think. You can decide for yourself who and what is God or if you believe in him. – Mommy, how does he look like? – I don’t know, I can only imagine and I think nobody knows for sure. -Mommy, where does he live, can I meet him? -I think he lives everywhere, including our hearts, so somehow I think we all meet him…I think he looks like the air we breath… -Mommy, what is a heart? Is that little organ in our chest that sounds like boom-boom when you use your Dr. S.’s stethoscope on me; it pumps blood in our arteries. -Mommy, what is arteries? -Well, they are like small tubes that connect everything inside our bodies, the same way you connect your wooden sticks to the wooden cubes, you know? Like the street we are on right now, it connects our house to Grandma’s house? And the cars are for streets what blood is for arteries. Cars carry people and toys and bags; blood carries food and oxygen everywhere in your sweet little body. -Mommy, is God that man walking over there? (a gentleman just starts crossing the street out of nowhere in that black rain and I immediately hit the break). -I don’t know…what the he…(I am already sweating with fear of what could have happened, although we were only going with 5 mph over road bumps) – Mommy, yes you do know! Please tell me! – (I am waving the man to cross the street, teeter smiling at him) Sweetheart, I honestly don’t know, but thank God you saw that man, otherwise I would have run him over!  And thank YOU for telling me! You see, you just saved that man and you were upset a minute ago I don’t let you save the cat from a movie! You’re my hero and I love you. – I love you too, mommy, but what is God?…