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I took my daughter today at the Creation&Earth History Museum, where we went quite often for the past 4 years. I exposed her to everything under the sun, being that science, mythology, religion, etc. She will have to make her own choice what to believe. It’s none of my business to convince her one way or another.

There was a group and one of them was playing the guide role. I asked them if that’s a Bible study group and they said no and welcomed me to listen. then they invited me to ASK questions. 😀 if everybody was super nice and friendly at the beginning, they all LEFT (upset), excepting the speaker, after my first 3 questions. I actually asked more than 3 questions, but these are the most important dilemmas I have and I think it would be good to share them with the world. who knows, somebody may know the answers and save me. 🙂

1. If God allowed incest at the beginning, so Adam & Eve’s kids could procreate by having sex with each other, then why would he punish the world through flood for the same exact sin (among others, of course)? Wasn’t Him the one who sent them out in the world to procreate by committing incest? If that’s the truth, then why is the alternative of being born from incestuous parents (and criminals, see Abel and Cain) better than the one with the evolved apes? Then, why did he punished innocent kids and other people who never even heard of Him when he sent the flood?

2. If God created Adam and Eve and it didn’t work out, so He had to send the big flood to kill everybody, why he then started all over with Noah and his family, so we the sinful ones have to wait now for the second apocalypse, through fire? One cannot do the same exact mistake twice and expect different results – and that’s God in the Old Testament. If I am made of flesh, I will sin. There is no way around this. If I am not the Creator, then why is the toy punished for the way it was made by the manufacturer? Then I reminded everybody that God himself talks about being jealous, furious, etc, which would actually be impossible for a God that’s love only, unconditional love. Love doesn’t get mad, it’s not judgmental, doesn’t want to get even, etc – see the definition of love in the Ecclesiastes.

3. Why would a father kill his own child, if he loves him unconditionally? If God is unconditional love, then unconditional love is in the opposition with „reward and punishment”.

If I, the created, I am afraid of my father’s punishments and I cannot CANNOT bring myself to LOVE him, is he JUST going to kill me because I cannot love him? That’s the first commandment – love thy God. Then I go and read in the Bible how he is gonna kill me if I sin. But every breath I take is a sinful one, because I keep alive an entire sinful globe by doing that, by surviving….I ain’t no angel. So, yes, I am afraid of his punishment, I don’t want to go to hell. And because I am scared, I cannot love. I cannot even admire jealousy and crime – I cannot bring myself together to believe that’s God doing that. Then what gives Him the right to kill me because I cannot love him? You cannot force love on people – so, where is the justice in that? God is just. God is not discretionary, to kill me today for what it wasn’t sin last week, but it became one by a new decree two days ago…

I love Jesus. Jesus I know, Jesus I can understand. Jesus is God for me. yes, I know the New Testament is one with the Old Testament and they say you cannot believe one without the other, but I chose to say this: I do not know which one is which one. I only know what it was revealed to me to be the truth. I can only access my own heart, nobody’s else.

one of them asked me „Who are you to question God’s will and God’s way?”

and I said: „His blessed reflection in the mirror. Me and my free will chose to question EVERYTHING that is, as Jesus said: search and you will find. That’s what I am doing. I am not settle for neither science’s story, neither your story. nobody’s story is my story. for all I care, you may not even be real! maybe you are my optical illusion. why would I trust you with my redemption? ”

When a guy admitted we all have the same dilemma (I said the Bible sound like a Bad Cop, Good Cop mystery and I cannot comprehend and adjust to the big differences between the Old Testament and the New Testament), he was shushed by the others.

That was the moment when a woman jumped from her chair and yelled at me: „You want to tell us you never punish your daughter, you don’t yell, you don’t tell her no??” I said „I never punished my daughter.”. and she really started screamed at me „you never ever sent her in time out??”. I answered the truth and nothing but the truth; „No, I never sent her in time out. It’s me usually taking time out when I feel I lose my patience”. That lady stormed out of there screaming that this is why kids are so wild and don’t listen, because of parents like me who allow their kids total freedom to do whatever they want.

Then they sent a guy to pray for my salvation and receive God into my heart and to become WISE and teach my daughter about God…. But I do love God and I already received God into my heart. The thing is, we have different stories about God. And I don’t teach my daughter ANYTHING about God – that’s her journey, cannot take that miracle away from her. God can reveal Himself better than my/others indoctrinations would ever do.

I left totally puzzled…let alone the Kafkian intrigue, my concern was to calculate how many years would have taken to the Egyptians to multiply and develop such a civilization and build the pyramids right after the flood – which took place 4,000 years ago. the test with Carbon- 14 is a bogus, because the scientists do not calibrate the isotope (don’t ask me), so all we’ve learn about civilizations being older than 4,000 years is all lies (that’s what they said). And I cannot figure it out on my own how come the Grand Canyon was formed by the high-velocity of water during the flood (the sediments are the same as in Canada and Great Britain, they said), while there is no Grand Canyon in the Great Plaines? But hey, I am not a scientist or a „true” believer who is gonna go to heaven dragging all that absolute truth and knowledge like a pray behind them, for the others to watch and turn green with jealous and be damned forever in hell for not being able to „love”.

God bless us, every one…